Beautiful Dirty Rich

I’ve known my friend Joel since I was born. We rarely see each other, though, because we’ve lived in different states for most of our lives. Now that we’ve both moved, we live a measly 45 minutes apart… in fact, right now, he and his friends are out at a bar that’s only about 15 minutes away.

I feel really bad that I’m not at the bar and likely won’t go there tonight, because Joel puts effort into inviting me places and I do want to hang out with him. But I’ve also been looking at the clock for the past two hours, wondering when it will be a reasonable time for me to go to sleep. Another clue – I have a glass of water, a glass of chocolate soy milk, and a glass of OJ next to me. Exhausted and dehydrated. What does that mean?

It means I had a pretty fantastic Friday night.

At 9 PM last night, I hopped in my car, put a ton of faith in my GPS, and drove downtown to pick up Trouble. I’ve never driven downtown. I’ve been told all my life how horrible it is to drive in this city and how unpredictable the drivers are. Add to that the fact that my GPS gets lost and confused when surrounded by skyscrapers, and I’m pretty terrified of the whole idea. Last night, I finally told myself to get over it. I survived the drive. I would say that I was cool as a cucumber as I coasted through the city, but Trouble had to prevent me from missing turns and running red lights on more than one occasion, so my nerves may have played just a teeny tiny role. We parked in a garage that Roomie has free access to, and we hopped on the T for one stop to get to Bar #1.

We went to the Middle East, a grungy hipster bar in a drunk-homeless-paradise section of the city, where we met up with Roomie and our friend AJ, listened to a couple of awesome local bands, and drank a lot of Stoli (Did I mention that Roomie relieved me of DD duty for the night? Reason #59 that she’s fab.). I took Trouble’s coat from coat check and thought it was mine despite our significant size difference, and then sang Lady Gaga during the whole car ride to Bar #2, so it was a very good thing that I wasn’t the DD. From there, we went back downtown to go to Foundation Lounge, where we listened to our friend DJ and somehow ended up drinking a bottle of champagne. Here’s where I can add another drunk accomplishment to my list – I cried. As I stood at the bar, Trouble and AJ went off for a dude-talk, and Roomie flat out disappeared. For 20 minutes. I wandered around looking for them, I sent some desperate text messages, and the boys finally returned. Still no sign of Roomie. After scouring the entire bar and trying to call her many times, we were getting really worried. So Trouble hugged me as I freaked out, imagining Roomie being abducted and held hostage or something equally dramatic and unlikely. I may have wiped away a few dainty tears. So yes, I drunk cried. Roomie eventually came back, seeming pretty confused as to why we would have been so worried. We left the bar and called it a night…

…until Trouble heard word of a friend’s house party. Roomie headed home, while Trouble and I rode in AJ’s car to the party. It was pretty dead, so the only part worth talking about was our attempt to leave the party and find AJ’s car. We had parked several blocks down the street from the party, and as AJ led the way to his car, I kept saying, “Aren’t we walking in the wrong direction?” Yes, yes we were. But it took AJ an awfully long time to admit it. He left Trouble and me sitting on a random door stoop as he sprinted down the street in search of the car. No luck. We ended up hopping in a taxi, where the confused driver agreed to drive down the full length of the street in search of the car. As it turned out, AJ had stopped sprinting about half a block too soon. We paid our $5 cab fare, hopped in AJ’s car, and came back to my apartment.

After the boys funneled a few more beers, we made sure AJ was all set with pillows and blankets so he could crash on the couch. That’s when we realized we had a slight bathroom dilemma. See, in my apartment, Roomie and I each have our own bathrooms, and they can only be accessed by walking through our bedrooms. Roomie was fast asleep, and I didn’t want AJ randomly walking through her room during the night. Trouble has been crashing in my room (figure it out so I don’t have to say it), which meant that AJ walking through my room during the night could be awkward as well. Thankfully, AJ didn’t need the bathroom during the night – problem solved. Either that or he pissed off of our balcony, which is entirely possible and which we don’t really need to know.

Trouble and I passed out around 6 AM. I woke up at 10 AM, in my sunny, curiously chilly room – I discovered one of us had opened the window during the night. Brrr. Don’t you love waking up to mysteries like that? I couldn’t get back to sleep, which left me with a whopping 4 hours of sleep. Everyone else managed to sleep past noon, despite my best, most obnoxious efforts.

Friday afternoon, Roomie had struck a deal with me: If I bought beer for the boys to drink at our apartment, she would make a huge, amazing breakfast for Trouble and me. That’s the sort of girls we are – we maintain our beer supply, and we make food for each other’s “sleepover friends.” So, around noon on Saturday, I finally got Trouble to wake up with the promise of a breakfast buffet. He stumbled out into the kitchen, where I heard an “I don’t see any waffles!” and a “Dude, put some clothes on” (Trouble and Roomie, respectively). No breakfast?! Nope. Aside from the fact that everyone had overslept, Roomie was missing some key breakfast ingredients. So tomorrow morning, Roomie and I will make and eat an amazing breakfast, and the boys will miss out. Tough luck.

I feel like a little fill-in-the-blanks update on Trouble is in order. We’ve been dating, I suppose you could say, and he’s pleasantly surprised me. He also seriously caught me off guard by inviting me, during Date #4, to go to Colorado with him in March. He has that adventurous spontaneity that a certain British ex of mine was so well known for, and that I haven’t been able to find in many people since. I’m considering going on the trip (What do I have to lose?)… but not responding yet. And yes, despite pleasantly surprising me, he is still being called Trouble until he proves otherwise.

Time to catch up on sleep – which means no bars for me tonight. Sorry, Joel. I’m an exhausted, dehydrated jerk.


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