SADs and Confused

The SADs are back, my friends. On Saturday, I woke up at noon (I was up until 5:30 am – more on that in a bit) and by the time I finished eating “breakfast,” the sun was already slowly going down… which made me REALLY upset. I sat outside in the cold just to soak up what little sun was left. I moped through the evening, finished off Season 1 of Dexter (so good), and vowed to get up at the crack of dawn the next morning. That didn’t happen. But speaking of Dexter… here’s the brilliant opening credits:

There are people commenting that the ham steak scene makes them hungry. NO, PEOPLE. The ham steak bit makes me cringe every time.

I needed a quiet weekend to rest and regroup, which I did, to some extent. I got over the flu within a week, but that took a lot out of me. If I had my way, I would have been hitting up the gym and out on the town this weekend, but I just didn’t have the energy. So, Friday night, when Trouble came calling, I made it pretty clear that I was spending the night alone. Cut to 2:30 in the morning, when my drunk dialing friend (remember him?) struck again… and kept me on the phone for three hours.

Now, this friend of mine and I have our situation pretty well figured out, and we’ve become comfortable with it. We’re friends who hook up when we’re drunk, and he occasionally drunk dials me. We say and do things that would be pretty embarassing if we didn’t have a relationship where we can forgive and laugh off anything the other person does. Here’s the tricky part, though – he blacks out, while I remember almost everything, so I have to call him up the next day and remind him of what was said or done. And lately, there’s something I’ve been leaving out of those recaps.

At New Year’s, Drunk Dialer and I hooked up again, but instead of laughing about it as we called it a night, he started pouring his heart out and talking about the possibility of a real relationship. He went into details that made it clear he had spent a lot of time thinking things through. I tried to shrug it off, and the next day, when he listed off what he remembered and didn’t mention the relationship spiel (he usually doesn’t remember conversations), I decided to just let it slide and not mention it.

Cut to Friday night’s drunk dial. The majority of the call was your typical drunk dial – I don’t need to elaborate, do I? – and then, just as I was thinking the relationship spiel was just fluke, he busts out with all of the reasons why we’d make a great couple.

I hate admitting this, so I’m only going to admit it once: it’s getting to me. I spent the first half of 2009 talking myself out of liking this guy, under the assumption that he wasn’t interested in anything more than friendship. When he started listing reasons we’d make a good couple, he was telling me things I had thought plenty of times in the past. On top of that, there are some logistics that would prevent us from having a good, healthy relationship right now. Part of me wants to have a conversation – a sober one – with him about this, but a bigger part of me thinks its best to push everything he said about a relationship into some dusty corner of my brain and keep going as if it never happened.

I don’t know, bloglings. Give me some words of wisdom.


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